I have set up a new business: it’s called
most Britons are in fact very decent folks. They are good-natured and ready to return any love you give them.
It’s just that they have been exposed since childhood to ugly weather and lousy food, developing a generally grumpy attitude. But this grumpiness should not be mistaken for aggressiveness, quite the opposite: give them a little tea and edible food and they will love you forever. Some will even learn how to properly use a bidet.
The service I created works in a way similar to dog rescue organizations: I maintain a list of Britons ready for adoption (adding yourself is very simple, just leave a comment below) while in parallel, my Scrutinizer team will evaluate families making themselves available to adopt a stray Briton: you will be able to specify age, gender, color or profession of your preference: move quickly to make sure your requirements are satisfied, even though with nearly 25 million disowned unhappy people, we do not anticipate problems with your requests.
Fancy a black Oxford University professor or a female London Banker to join your household? We got you covered! Need an Asian LSE graduate to help you with your Tax Return or a Certified Chef… Um, sorry, bar that!
In the meanwhile, to self-assess if you are a potential adopting family, you can answer these questions:
#adoptaBrit: together, we can!