Forget hunger, or war, or violence or terminal illness.
I now know what is the face of fear.
About a month ago, my younger sister suffered a brain hemorrhage; a malformation in one of the main veins deep behind the optical nerve created an aneurism, which eventually blew up.
She was brought to hospital in what the neurosurgeon described as “one of the deepest comas he had ever seen”. She was operated right away with the embolyzation of the aneurism, and remained in the Intensive Care Unit for about a week; when she came out, she was not a pretty sight. She was motion impaired on her right arm and left leg and could not speak not perform simple acts upon requests. Moreover, whenever she was not under heavy medication, she would scream in pain.
The initial prognosis was very discouraging, but eventually (being a strong woman with two teen-ager kids she needs to look after as a widower) she gradually pulled herself out of her state and in the next three weeks she fought her way back to full consciousness and mobility; she’s not there, yet, but we all have little doubt about her recovery.
As we can now speak (even though with some difficulty) and she is in very high spirit, I was able to ask her the question that I had in the back of my mind:
“Did you understand what we were saying to you one month ago?”
and her reply opened for me a door on a very dark room because she told me:
“I understood everything, except why YOU did not understand what I was saying”.
Of course, the reason we did not understand is simply because she could not control her body well enough to push out the words she had in her mind or perform the acts we were asking as a confirmation of consciousness, and she did not realize her lack of such control.
This is fear.
A perfectly conscious mind trapped into a body so malfunctioning as to be totally unable to communicate with the rest of the world.
But God is merciful and He watches over His children – if you want a proof, just watch this movie: