Hey you, with the brown bag!
Yes, you, I hope you trip on your shoelaces, lose your balance and involuntarily hit the beer of that 150-kilo biker who will retribute by making you his bitch for the next month. I then hope the cops bust him for drugs and throw you in the slammer for all those child porn pics they found under the mattress, and you know what happens to child molesters in jail, don’t you?
None of that would have happened if yesterday you hadn’t broken into the trunk of my car to steal my bag with my Macbook Air, iPad and passport, plus countless other small items carefully selected in years of travel.
And BTW, if you’re wondering what’s this sudden searing pain in your back, it may have sonething to do with the spikes I’m jabbing into this doll here while I wait another two hours for my system to restore from Time Machine (thanks God!) on the hurriedly purchased replacement MBA because, you know, we’re in the middle of an office move, and in four days it’s Christmas and I need to deliver a pitch on january 13th.
And don’t worry, you will eventually come out of jail, and I have a few other best wishes ready for you…
I knew this thing was fun since I saw “Forrest Gump”, so I can’t say I am surprised, but it is one of these things you don’t want to overly hype it in case it’s a letdown… Well, it’s not! Mowing my yard with the brand new Snapper rider is LOADS OF FUN !
It took me and Federico about an hour to do the 2400 sqm, especially given trees and other obstacles, and no doubt we must practice to become more efficient, but even our first ride was incomparably more fun than mowing our tiny little yard in the old place.
Money well spent!
One point, though: the assembly was NOT trivial at all – thanks God we had Marco at hand, as he’s far more versed in these things than yours truly; another helping hand (or arms) came from Muhammad and Omar, who are working on our renovation and were strong enough to lift the thing off to put on the wheels and the mowing deck: without them, I’d probably still be wondering how on hell I can do that! Also, mr. Enzo from the reseller was very patient and guided us over the phone when we got stuck, good job!
We are now firmly established in the new home, albeit with subpar comfort. When I say this to my friends, I can tell they think of the nuisance of boxes still lying around, or misplaced items.
Our “lack of comfort” goes a little deeper than that.
- the grass is almost half a meter tall, and hasn’t received any water in three weeks (average daytime temp here is around 32 °C); I feebly attempted manual watering, but I totally misjudged the size of the new yard – this place needs a proper watering system.
- two bathrooms are in operation, but each has only half of the facilities really running, so we can brush our teeth in one, and shower in the other.
- talking of which, no hot water – the joys of a cold morning showers !
- we have NO furniture whatsoever, except the garden’ and a slate of inflatable beds
- no Internet connection, except with a datacard. In most cases, the iPad is my best option
- no TV nor radio, no morning paper (again except what I have on the iPad)
- lighting is patched together to be generous – the previous owner ripped off anything that could have even the remotest use, I believe far beyond what’s fair (washbasins, aircon units, outside shaders, bathroom fixtures…)
- over half of the house is being sledgehammered at by muscular guys who already tore down two walls, and ripped off the floors in four or five rooms – the rubble pile is higher and higher.
This weekend should prove pivotal: gardeners are coming to install the watering system, grass is being cut (plus I’m getting one of those cute ride-on mowers – THAT should be fun!); the plumbers will restore one bathroom to full functionality and give us hot water, as well as install the well pump to get our own water for garden use; the antenna guy will install the satlink which should hurl this place in the 21st century.
Yesterday for the first time we heard music coming from the disco, and if that is noise, none of us will give rat’s ass about it – they will probably complain more about the noise WE make !
In all this mess, and with the full realization that over-budgeting will be inevitable, I am still elated at the situation, the more we work on this, the more it will be our own.
We are getting there! After having triumphantly broken through the 400 boxes barrier, we are now finishing off – actual move starts tomorrow 8AM.
Our driveway looks very much like a junkyard, but Mirella’s iMac resurrected – I suspect an overheating problem, but can’t find as much as a bad sector now. Go figure. Also my iPad went out of service after I sat in the sun for about 30 mins – today is warm, but not unbearably so (say 33°C): the black surface seems to trap a disproportionate amount of heat, and in fact when I touched the bezel it was HOT !
Utilities count under control – we have electricity and water, and should get satellite Internet within days; now need to look into newspaper + satTV.
If you laughed at my six non-working landline phone, my three non-working cassette player will kill you!
I recognize an obsession for music portability, because all three are either Sony Walkmans or cheap knockoffs. I also dug out (and finally disposed of) about 50 cassettes, most of which contained my mixes.
Mirella is a rather compulsive garbage sorter, but even she could not quite figure out whether a tape cassette is plastic or not. In the end my superior engineering knowledge prevailed and she declared the outside jewel box a piece of plastic, the inside sleeve cardboard while the actual cassettes were unceremoniously dumped in the undifferentiated bin.
It was rather fun to look at the stuff I was listening to in the mid seventies: for the most part, I still listen to that music (ok, maybe not so much Elton John) but the Beatles, Stones, Zep are absolutely still here.
I think moving offers you insight over yourself – you dig into stuff you did not remember you had and makes you think…
I did not think of myself like one of the characters that never throws anything away, quite the opposite; so can someone explain why I found no less than FOUR broken VCRs as well as SIX landline phones when packing the garage?
Not to mention I stopped counting at TWENTYTHREE power supplies belonging to long forgotten hardware, probably all of them still working, and the TWO fax machines (three when you include the one upstairs that will be decommissioned).
Driveway looking already like a junkyard…
Since we officially started the process of moving by starting to pack stuff, I thought I’d celebrate this with a brand-new blog skin, more colourful and – possibly – more readable than austere Hemingway, this is called Greyzed and feels more aggressive, urban, “rough”.
Moving is a lot of work, but also a time of excitement, you shuffle things around and reorganize how you live your space – doesn’t take moving, you might say – but it does for us. Too lazy otherwise. I’ll record here some of curio we come across in this four weeks period, leading to the actual physical move, scheduled for july 7th.
I always knew we have “a lot” of books. But exactly how many is “a lot”? Well, so far we filled 110 cartons, each containing an average of 30, so we’re at 3,300, probably will end at around 3,500 or so.